It's getting late and I am tired but before I go to bed I wanted to share about one of my most favorite people... my Ava. For the last eight years this has been a bittersweet week for my family. It all started August 31, 2003 when my beloved grandfather passed away. My pappy was a man loved, respected, honored, and cherished by his family and so many of my greatest memories were of him. The passing of him was so painful for us all and on September 4th we laid him to rest. The very next morning I gave birth to Ava Elizabeth. As one life ended another began. Her birth gave our family hope and joy in the midst of our sorrow.

Ava's life came at a perfect time and his death and her birth was not a coincidence. Ava is probably the most giving person I know. She is always thinking of others before herself and it brings me to tears watching her big heart give and love. Her dream is to be a doctor so she can help people, she's even thrown around the idea of being a therapist like Willow has so she can help kids with special needs. While Ava has some time to think about what she wants to be when she grows up I am certain that she will spend her life loving and serving. I am thankful Ava came to us eight years ago today and I am thankful I have the privilege of watching this beautiful girl grow into woman. She loves Jesus and her family and the color green and barbies and mac n cheese. She is shy, loves music, has an eclectic style and can make me laugh with all her quick wit. She is a big package in a small body and WOW she is mine!

Happy Birthday to my Ava... I love you with all my heart.

I'm Back!

After a long hiatus... I'm back.
We have had a very busy but fun-filled summer and I think we are starting to get back into a routine. At the beginning of the summer we made a bucket list, a list of things we wanted to do over the summer. Our list included swimming, blueberry picking, trips to the library, visiting family and friends, and of course girly things like painting toenails, facials, and making yummy snacks. We enjoyed every moment of our time together and it was made even better because daddy got to come home early many days.
School has begun and we are getting back into the routine of early mornings and busy evenings. It is pretty quiet around here especially during nap time! Willow is bottom scooting everywhere- yes, we have tried for months and months to get this girl to crawl and she has figured out that scooting on her bottom is so much easier and she can move rather quickly. She is into everything and I spend my days chasing her around. She has also become quite the talker.
Every morning when Willow wakes up I hear the sounds of happy babbling and occasional laughing coming from her room. Without fail I know when I walk in and pick her up she will give me a smile and pat me on the back. I also know that everywhere we go she will greet people with a smile and a wave. If only I could look at like through rose colored glasses like my daughter. She will always look at life differently, what a blessing. Her life and the love she gives will be so pure and unconditional and our family has and will always benefit greatly from the life she lives.
Today, I feel thankfulness for the man I married and the three wonderful children we have the privilege of raising together. And when the busyness and sometimes craziness of life sweep over us may I remember to love unconditinally and live life with a pure heart.

Happy (late) Father's Day

Yesterday was Father's Day and we were traveling home from vacation (I will blog all about that later) and so the blog had to wait until today!

I wanted to share many of the reasons that I love my husband and the father of Gillian, Ava and Willow...

I love that when Gillian and Ava turned three he had them get all dressed up and took them on the first of many dates with him

I love that he lays in their bed and reads to them

I love that he rocks Willow at night and sings to her (even though he thinks I can't hear him)

I love that when they get sick in the middle of the night he gets up too because he want to comfort them and help me

I love when he calls me from work with a great idea for a new adventure for our family

I love that when Ava is scared of the thunder he sits next to her, comforting her until she falls asleep

I love that he uses every single vacation day he has in a year so that he can spend time with us

I love that when he gets home from work he is as happy to see us as we are to see him

I love that the night Willow was born he held me and as we cried he promised me that we were going to walk this journey together

I love that gets in the floor and plays with them

I love that he is patient

I love that he helps coach Gillian's soccer team

I love that he teaches them to be kind and to help others, they are learning by example

I love that he loves Jesus

I love that he is the leader our home needs

And I love that he loves me...

Ava was talking to a friend at school and this friend told Ava that her parents were divorced and she had to go back in forth from her mom's house to her dad's. Ava said, my parents are never going to get divorced because they love each other very much, I mean my dad always kisses my mom! So, I guess I should add one more to the list, I love that our children feel safe.

Happy (late) Father's Day, we are the most blessed to have you.

Today I am writing about the girl who made me a mom. My beautiful, sweet, loving Gillian was born on this very day nine years ago. Where has the time gone? I remember holding her for the first time and how I fell deeply in love with her the moment our eyes met. I also remember bringing her home and not having a clue what to do when she had colic for three months and we would both spend countless hours crying. I remember the first time she crawled and walked and her first words and how we could just watch her for hours as if time stood still. I remember sobbing after I dropped her off at her first day of kindergarten, you would have thought I was sending her to college. I remember teaching her to ride a bike and tie her shoes although I need to give her dad most of the credit on these two. I remember teaching her about Jesus and how she ask him to live in her heart.

Maybe it is true, life goes by in an instant, it sure feels this way. The last nine years have been like an instant and a part of me feels sad about how fast it has gone but a bigger part of me is so excited for the future. Gillian has learned to love Jesus, love others, show compassion, be giving, and I can't wait to see the plan HE has in store for her. I am just thrilled I get to see it all unfold. Happy Birthday to the girl who made me a mom, I love you more than you will ever know.

It is a gloomy, cold spring day and I am finding it hard to get motivated; so I think I will write. As I am sitting at my desk writing Willow is rolling all over the place and pulling anything in her reach over on her. Every time I turn around she just gives me a big grin, she wants to be on the move and is getting busier by the day. We are working so hard to get her to crawl yet I am not sure I am ready for that, I may never write again once she starts moving.

Last fall Gillian came to me and told me she wanted to grow her hair out really long and then cut it and donate it to locks of love. She had heard about it through my cousin and really was excited to do that. So this week it was finally long enough and Chad took her to the salon and they cut ten inches off. She was so proud and happy to be able to help out another little girl. Her hair looks so cute! We have always wanted to teach our girls compassion and that there is a bigger world out there beyond the small, tiny world they live in. Even as young as they are, this year has changed them. I not only think they have become more compassionate but I think they have become more aware. Awareness is so important; they in a small but significant way understand that there is a hurting world right there in front of them. There is little girl in Gillian's grade that has Down Syndrome and when Gillian notices she is playing by herself at recess she makes it appoint to ask her to play. Her response to why she does this, she would want someone to do the same for Willow. Willow's life has brought out more compassion and a sense of awareness in both Gillian and Ava's lives. They have always been sweet girls but their love for others has deepened over this year. The gift of greater love, greater compassion, and greater awareness has been given to our family through our small but mighty Willow. I think God can use people to act as instruments, teaching us about love, compassion, patience, awareness etc... lessons maybe we would not understand if those people were not in our lives.

changing directions and new gigs

I think it was the day after Willow was born I was sitting in the hospital just trying to process everything going on that I decided I would start a blog. I wanted to use my blog as a way to express my thoughts and emotions knowing that I would have so many. A way for me to heal through writing. I had no idea at the time how many people blog! It has been great to not only share my thoughts but to record her doctor's appointments and milestones- like a baby book online. I only wish I had known about this when Gillian and Ava were little.

I started thinking about my blog and how I want to make some changes. This year has been about change, before this year I knew little about Down Syndrome, the DSG (Down Syndrome Guild), physical therapy, occupational therapy, music therapy, aquatic therapy and speech therapy; now I know a lot about them all. I have spent this year transitioning into my new life, a life I never thought I would be a part of but so grateful I am. In the past when a thought would come to me I would write it down. If Willow had an appointment of she hit a milestone I would blog about it but the problem is I have missed so many everyday wonderful moments. I have also missed out on sharing about the other blessings in our lives. So I have decided it is time to share about all the small moments and small ones that make us smile.

I want share that both Gillian and Ava were each chosen by their teachers for the Compassionate Award and how proud we felt when we listened to the letter their teachers wrote about them. I want to share that Willow now has a new gig and it is called LeeAnn Britain's Infant Development Center (we call it IDC for short). She is not crazy about her individual therapy but loves when she gets to go to class with her new friends. She is a very social little girl and loves the other kids. She also loves music and has music class at IDC and Gymboree- the shakers are her favorite. Gillian is now in soccer and loves playing defender- she is not afraid to get in there and attack the ball. Ava is certain she is destined to be a singer and actress- we will of course be covering this idea in many prayers.

My journey keeps changing, it did last year and it will this year. I will continue to share what is on my heart but I also want to share the moments in between...

Misc...

March has been a busy month for us. Willow's birthday was at the beginning of the month and we celebrated for several days, I think she is just now recovering from all the excitement! Then we had Spring Break and we spent most of it sick with colds, ear infections, and nasty coughs. After many visits to the pharmacy (they now know us by name) I think we are getting better. One of our many visits to the doctor this month was for Willow's one year check up. She weighs in at whopping 15 pounds 9 ounces and is 28 inches long! On her growth chart she is in the 50th percentile for weight and above 50th for length so she is little but she is growing. He is very pleased with her overall health and development and I feel very thankful and blessed for such a good visit.

Since Willow's birth I have come into contact with a magazine specifically for parents who have a child with a disability and have also had the privilege of meeting some moms who also have children with a disability. Every time I read a story or listen to a mother speak about the trials they go through with their children my heart is torn. On one hand I feel so blessed that Willow is healthy and thriving but on the other hand my heart breaks for these mothers. On only a small scale can I understand what they go through. Yes, we have therapy and a few extra doctor's appointments throughout the year but what is that in comparison to the countless hours these mothers spend in doctors' offices, hospitals, and in therapy with their children. They do this with such strength and grace, makes me wonder, would I have the strength? I am sure these mothers have ask the same question and I am sure I would find the strength because of my unconditional love for her but I still look to them in awe of the way they care for their children. They inspire me and I am so privileged to have met some of theses fierce, brave mothers and to have also read the stories of many more.