Oh how the months fly by and I sit down to write but find myself being summoned in many different directions.

Willow is eight months old and I wish time would slow down. She is bringing us more joy each and everyday. September was a big month for us; Willow had her well child check up, an appointment with the Down Syndrome Clinic at Children's Mercy and an eye doctor appointment. Not to mention her regular therapy with her OT. We also enjoyed the Down Syndrome walk out at Arrowhead Stadium. It was a great day to celebrate her life with family and friends. We were so thankful that her appointments went well. She is a healthy and happy baby- just what I spent nine months praying for!

October brought fun but busy times as we enjoyed the end of Gillian and Ava's soccer season. We also had fun with family coming to visit, Halloween, pumpkin patches and so much more.

As we approach the Thanksgiving holiday I am reminded of this time two years ago. Two years ago tomorrow we were awaken by our children yelling fire. As we ran from our burning home I never could have imagined the obstacles we were to face over the next year and a half. It would require a major test of our faith and trust in the Lord. Although we wanted to crumble at times he was there holding us and loving us as we experienced pain, anger, and sadness. It was all a preparation of the real test, how would we handle the news that our baby girl has Down Syndrome? You see God sees the whole picture when we can only see a snapshot. He knew he was preparing us for a bigger journey, one that would require a lot of faith and trust in Him. I would be lying if I told you the first days and weeks were not difficult but we knew we would not crumble because we had seen his work first hand. We knew he would deliver what he promised, to be ever constant, ever faithful. He did not promise it would be easy but he promised he would never fail us and he never has...

Thankful

As Willow is about to turn six months I have been reflecting on her short life thus far. What a difference six months make?? Six months ago I was still pregnant with her, carrying her around in my womb having no clue the surprise about to unfold in my life. Having no clue that before I even knew I was pregnant, Willow had Down Syndrome. At the very first ultrasound, Willow had Down Syndrome, and on that cold, sunny Tuesday afternoon in March Willow had Down Syndrome.
God formed and created Willow and although she has Down Syndrome; it is only a part of who is she. Down Syndrome does not define her. Her self worth is not in what she is but in who she is as a child of God, a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter and the list goes on... He created her with a purpose and plan and we are excited to see the unveiling of this plan as the years go by.

Willow's life has brought about a change in me, God brought this tiny package with a great big gift inside to change my heart and I am ever so thankful for this amazing gift. I am so incredibly blessed to be the mother of three beautiful daughters, their beauty starts from within and radiates through to the outside. They each bring about their own talents and gifts and the journey with them is incredible and almost indescribable. The last six months have been a time of joy and reflection. It is hard to believe how fast the days go by but I am learning to slow down and enjoy my children. My hope is that I always take the time to REFLECT.

Four Months

So on July 2nd Willow turned four months and the time is just flying! She had her check-up and shots. She is 11lb12oz and 24 inches. She has a growth chart that is specifically for females with down syndrome. She is in about the 80th percentile for weight and above 50th for length. The girl loves to eat! Our doctor is just so thrilled with the way she is growing and developing. As parents we just love to hear those positive words and are thankful for such a wonderful encouraging doctor. She also has been doing great with therapy and her therapist continues to be impressed with how well she is doing. To say that we are VERY happy would be an understatement.

Four things I have learned the last four months:

1. That I am not in control and never will be but HE is...

2. That something unexpected can be the most beautiful thing you ever imagined

3. That you can learn a lot through the eyes of young children, they love unconditionally without any reservations.

4. That life does really go by very quickly and tomorrow is not guaranteed so live for the day and enjoy all the little simple but beautiful moments...

With Father's Day just a few days ago; I wanted to post the letter that Chad wrote to Willow on the day of her dedication. He embodies what it means to be a great father. He works hard and is a good provider, he spends quality time with each of his daughters and most importantly he loves his wife and he loves his heavenly father. As a wife and mother I feel so blessed to call him my husband and the father of our children.

Willow,

We truly believe you are a special gift from God. Psalm 139:13-14 reads, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

We look forward to watching you grow, both physically and your love for Jesus. You have given our family so much joy in the short time you have been with us. Although we know there will be challenges ahead, we also trust God will equip us to handle those.

Thank you for helping us realize what is really important in life, thank you for being you, thank you for opening us up to a whole new and exciting world, thank you for helping us truly understand unconditional love, thank you for changing our lives, and thank you for completing our family.

We love you so much,

Daddy, Mommy, Gillian and Ava

So I started this blog over a month ago and told myself that I would write every week; well that didn't happen.
I have found life so busy between end of school, a trip to visit friends and Gillian's birthday that I am just now finding some quiet time. Willow is 3 months now and I can not BELIEVE how fast the time goes and how quickly she is growing and changing. She coos, smiles, and even let out a tiny laugh yesterday. We love watching her grow; Gillian and Ava are so good with her. They read to her, sing to her, and are always so loving and patient. It was not long ago on a Saturday morning that all three girls were in bed cuddling, talking and giggling with us and I thought to myself, life does not get any better than this.
I have not always thought this about life. I have had some pretty difficult and dark moments in my life but I am reminded of God's faithfulness. I have been asked recently how I was able to overcome my shock and grief so quickly after Willow was born. My answer, God's faithfulness. He has been faithfully preparing me all these years through every situation and circumstance to strengthen me and to help me build complete trust in him. I am very uncertain about the journey that lies ahead for us but I am certain of his unfailing love and faithfulness. Today, I claim victory over the sorrow and grief. Don't get me wrong I still have moments of worry and doubt on how Willow will grow, learn and her over all well-being but I choose to trust in his unfailing love for us. He has never failed me nor will he ever and even in the midst of pain and suffering there is peace in knowing he will never leave me nor forsake me.
My hope as a mother is that my children will live a life of faithfulness and though the storms may come(and they will) they will trust in his unfailing love for them. Willow's life is already a testament of his love.

Although this blog is intended to follow Willow's journey as she experiences both milestones and challenges; we never want to leave out the other two blessings in our lives.

Their lives bring us incredible joy and laughter...

Mother's Day

So the day after Willow was born I decided to start a blog; a way to chronicle our journey with her. Well, now two months later I am just finding the time and energy to begin. It is mother's day and I am relaxing in the quietness of my room; the only noise I hear is the sounds of my sleeping baby right next to me.

Today was a very special day, not only because it is mother's day but this is the day we dedicated our Willow Rose to the Lord. We decided to share her story this morning and I have decided to share her story here:

March 2, 2010, the day our Willow Rose was born. The day started like any other; Chad got up and went to work and I got the girls ready and off to school. It was late that afternoon when my water broke and we realized this was not going to be any ordinary day; this was going to be the day of our daughter's birth. This is where the frenzy began as friends and family were called and I in true fashion began to panic. Those of you that know me know that I am a planner and this was not on the agenda for the day. Even in my anxiety ridden state, I was completely over the top excited as was Chad. This was a day that was long anticipated. Little did we know years ago that God would be preparing us for this very day. A troubled childhood, rebellious teenage years, two young parents trying to raise their daughters while going to college, a job crisis and a fire to name a few of the many ways God was strengthening our faith and preparing us for March 2, 2010.
The events of this day went rather quickly and I found myself being prepped for a c-section just a few short hours after arriving at the hospital. It was at exactly 6:15 that evening when Willow Rose made her grand entrance. I will never forget the moment we first met. I remember telling her how beautiful she was and thought to myself her eyes are deep as if they already tell a story. She was soon taken to the nursery and we would meet again in my room. Chad stayed with her and I anxiously waited to hold her. Our family gathered outside and friends waited for the call, all excited to hear the good news and get to meet her. I still remember Chad wheeling her down the hall in the bassinet and our doctor following behind. I finally got to hold my beautiful baby as our doctor came around to the left side of my bed. He stood there calm and collective as he began his sentence with first of all (not the words a parent wants to hear) Willow is healthy as she can be, her lungs and heart sound great but,( another word you never want to hear) I have reason to believe that Willow has down syndrome.
This is the point in which I am sure that I felt a wide range of emotions but those are a blur, lost in time. I vaguely remember staring at my doctor with what I am sure was a blank look on my face and at a loss for words; first time in my life I have ever been at a loss for words. Although the evening was filled with confusion and lost moments this I know:
A husband who took his wife's hand with tears in his eyes and promised as if it were their wedding day to be there for better or worse.
And a family who stood beside a bed, holding hands and crying and praying and how in that moment their lives changed and this ordinary day became extraordinary.
And a mother who when family left and the husband went to sleep stayed awake all night weeping and praying, praying without ceasing. And as the sun was rising early that next morning this was the verse she was given: Psalm 30:5, weeping may remain for a night, but joy comes in the morning. There was no more sadness and no more sorrow because this mother and this father had been given a gift. She brings joy and hope and love to her parents and these sisters and this family.
Little did we know years ago that all of these life's events would prepare us for that night. The night our beautiful, amazing daughter was born.